Milo of Croton, the greatest wrestler of all-time, poses for his cheering fans.
“Milon, this fine statue of a fine man, he won seven times at Pisa and never dropped to his knees.”
Simonides, 556 BC – 468 BC
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As best you can, look closely at the attached pictures. The first is a package, amongst many, containing two chicken breasts displayed in a ‘popular grocery stores’ freezer. Focus in and you will see humungous breasts, virtually bursting out of the wrapping. Ironically, I wouldn’t consider these fowl giants obese as they exhibit a low fat percentage especially in comparison to bovine and swine compositions. Beef and pork sources typically possess denser, thicker and heavier concentrations of both subcutaneous and intra-muscular fat. So basically, the breasts you’re observing at are juiced up muscle-bound freaks, literally.
Fowl Arithmetic
According to some, an Average chicken breast weighs between 5.25 oz.– 8.0 oz.1, 2, or roughly 0.50 lb. (½ pound). However, the two chicken breasts in this photo are weighing in at 40.96 oz., or 2.56 lbs. Divided in half, the weight for a single chicken breast weighs 20.48 oz., or 1.28 lbs.
Compare 20.48 oz. to the Average of 8.0 oz., and, wallah, we calculate a 256% weight differential.
Plumping Up *
With a smidgen of sarcasm, of course there’s restrictions on intentional bloating of animal products, specifically known as plumping. And to prove these chicken breasts have met appropriate health and safety regulations, (clearing my throat) the U.S. Department of Agriculture, and possibly many other trustworthy regulating bodies, stamp a Passed Meat ‘seal of approval’ directly onto packaging labels after inspection. So the chicken breasts you’re looking at here have been (I’m choking) officially inspected, passed, and legally approved, ‘Inspected and Passed Meat and/or Poultry’.
FLAVORITE WARNINGS
But wait, there’s more! To uncover further disappointment to my ‘roid raging’ fit here is that you’d, at least, hope these breasts tasted good, but not even close. Hyper-hypertrophied animal food sources taste awful, exhibiting a leather-like consistency. To maintain consumer consumption; i.e., sales, the unpleasant taste must be disguised. Especially pertinent for restaurant goers, many never recognize the (real) taste of these ‘Passed’ chicken breasts because they’re smothered in creams, gravies, sauces and/or crispy crusts. Regarding the recognition of their Herculean sizes, the fowl is chopped into smaller chunks or strips before serving in salads, pasta, casseroles and soups.
For those of you who vote in favor of naturally raised food sources, hypertrophic augmentation is also prevalent with Free Range chickens. See attached; a single breast from this package weighs 12.64 ounces or 0.79 lbs. That’s a whopping 150% bigger than the 8 oz. Average. And to heed a closing warning, many of these Free Ranging breasts also have nasty flavors.
In any event, bet you didn’t guess, I’ve been chickening out lately. Quite disappointing since chicken has maintained a good percentage of my overall protein intake. Welcome to the age of engineered foods.
Always Make the Healthiest Choice!
John Abdo
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* Plumped or plumping, terms that refer to agricultural practices implemented to enhance and/or enlarge poultry, and other meat products, by injecting fluids into the tissues producing swelling and bloating while concurrently increasing heftiness and heavier weights.
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